HERR DIRECTOR A ENCORE FRAPPE
__Voici en exclusivité et en intégralité le mémorable texte des 60 ans des 3 béliers.
SAGA 60ans
Daniel = Sulpiciens, Sulpiciennes
Gros sauleurs, Grosses sauleuses
A ce propos faudrait pas tarder à faire un régime car les beaux jours approchent
Oui je vous le dis les beaux jours approchent, alors mobilisez vous, oui les beaux jours approchent, tant pis pour les cloches
Jean Paul = tu as dit moches …c’est moche… approche que je te mette une taloche
Daniel = c’est pas moi j’ai pas dit moches
J’ai dit « c’est le temps des galoches pour ceux qui en ont encore dans les sacoches »
Christian = ce n’est pas très sympatoche tu en conviendras, approchent, moches, cloches, galoches et sacoches, c’est vrai ça rime, sauf que
« quand une moche s’approche à grandes galoches avec ses sacoches qui clochent »
Les trois = là le luronien passe son chemin
moches galoches sacoches cloches
Si vous nous regardez …
Daniel = Joyeux lurons, Joyeuses luronnes
L’actualité luronnienne est dense turlututu chapeau pointu
Jean Paul = oh là le bejart sulpicien tu as dit danse en tutu
Daniel = c’est pas moi je n’ai pas dit danse avec un tutu …j’ai dit « avec un pointu tutu tu marques des turlu-but-buts »
Les trois = Les turlu-but-buts si vous nous regardez …
Daniel = Monsieur le président je crois, je pense et je suis même persuadé de moi-même et avec moi-même, que si ça continue comme ça va falloir envoyer des fleurs ou des chocolats à tous ceux ou à toutes celles… sur cher bien sûr, que l’on égratigne … Tignes où toutes les pistes sont ouvertes avec neige poudreuse et la pharmacie Lopez est de garde … ou envoyer un « je ne sais quoi » … ah oui c’est moins cher les « je ne sais quoi » … non Chantal pas de stress et inutile de sortir la calculette car je retire tout ce qui précède … je sélectionne avec le mulot, un clic et hop je supprime…
Les trois = Elle est pas belle la vie sur joyeuxluronssaules.free.fr.
Daniel = Ca y est, j’ai tout effacé pour ne froisser personne sinon je serai obligé de sortir la pattemouille pour défroisser … et si la patte mouille la chatte …
Christian = oh là le bigard sulpicien reste couvert sinon ça risque de déraper !
Comme le dit le proverbe « qui a des noix en casse et qui n’en a pas s’en passe »
Les trois = Elle est pas belle la vie sur joyeuxluronssaules.free.fr.
Daniel = Comme vous avez pu vous en rendre compte, merci Chantal de tenir compte, l’actualité de ces dernières années a été très chargée pour nos 3 intrépides lurons et a pompé toute leur énergie enfin pas tout, juste une p’tite partie
Bon y a pas que l’actualité qui pompe leur énergie … mais cela ne nous regarde pas
Les trois = Elle est pas belle la vie sur joyeuxluronssaules.free.fr.
Jean Paul = Mon cher Daniel et pour faire court car on n’a pas que ça à faire … faudrait penser aux présents de ce soir … et je le dis présidentiellement
« les présents valent mieux que les absents » enfin pas toujours car devoir de mémoire et lycée de Versailles
Christian = oui tout a fait d’accord mais
« avant d’admettre l’absurde de la situation, on doit épuiser toutes les solutions et qui n’a l’esprit de son âge, de son âge a le malheur »
Les trois chantant = on n’est pas des imbéciles on a même de l’instruction à sulpipice à sulpipice à côté du cabanon
Daniel = Mes biens chers sulpiciens mes bien chères sulpiciennes … flash back
Recueillement maximum : Epître de Saint Restigné aux sulpiciens
« En ce temps là, y avaient déjà nos trois lurons, vous les reconnaissez sur la photo du groupe hard rock heavy métal « Pâ ques rettes » à l’époque ça cartonnait sur alouette FM avec le fan club de marie madeleine sans proust …et ça gazait, oui mon colon comme le souligne mon proctologue.
Pour tout vous dire le chanteur du groupe, un certain JC a fait des pieds et des mains pour être au premier plan sur la photo ce qui n’a pas plu du tout…mais pas du tout à nos trois lurons et depuis …sans fond, oui depuis le puits sans fond, on est sans nouvelle de JC … il est probablement planqué dans un paradis …fiscal bien sûr ».
Jean Paul = Enfin cela nous ramène à nos moutons … dans la saga de nos trois lurons
Daniel = Tout a fait El Président
En résumé faut quand même vous narrez la dernière mission impossible de nos trois héros de ce soir
Très récemment, diligentés par le président, nos trois lurons ont participé à Londres au G vins, oui vous avez bien entendu au G vins
Jean Paul = en fait c’était au G vins à l’ombre dans la cave
Daniel = Mobilisez vous, mobilisez vous, il faut trouver des remèdes à la crise… mondiale la crise
Ici l’ombre, les lurons parlent aux sulpiciens « la cave se rebiffe – je répète – la cave se rebiffe »
Les trois chantant = (air de la victoire en chantant) toutes les vignes en chantant nous ouvrent la barrique, et restigné guide nos pas, la la la la …….la
Daniel = En présence de tous les grands de ce monde on se sent tout petit sauf à côté de rollex à ressort gravé NS sur le boîtier des fois qu’il se perde !
Les trois chantant = On s’est fait tout p’tit devant la cuvée qui t’ferme les yeux quand tu la débouches
Daniel = Les 3 lurons ont planché sur les solutions à la crise …des vocations restigniennes que traverse …dans les clous, notre noble assemblée et Christian plein de sérénité et de sagesse a dit
Christian = je pense qu’il faut consulter les plus grands spécialistes de la question …oui mais où trouver les experts ?
Daniel = Vous m’avez poser une question et bien je vais vous répondre…il n’y a pas de problèmes il n’y a que des solutions et comme ça dans tous les cas la solution résout le problème puisqu’à la base il n’y a pas de problèmes … tout le monde a compris ou il faut que je recommence…quoi toi t’as pas compris « casse toi pauvre con »
Jean Paul = je pense que tout cela est parfaitement clair mais il faudrait présenter rap rap rapidement toi le bouffon le train de mesures … avant la prochaine grève
J’en profite pour rappeler que le joyeux luron part toujours à l’heure … de l’apéro
Daniel = les experts consultés sont les 3 Frères Décan
Le premier Décan a conseillé :
pour le tonus de méditer ce noir désir de se remettre au sport,
pour la carrière de prendre du recul mais de ne pas battre en retraite
pour les sentiments
Christian = Bourrez le bélier et si tu recules comment veux tu que je te…con…gratule, que je re…formule ma question
Jean Paul = OUF ! On n’est pas passé loin de l’incident diplomatique avec avis de tempête venant par la rue de frileuse ce qui aurait rafraîchi les bonnes relations internationales horizontales et verticales réunies par une oblique du meilleur effet.
Daniel = Avec de tels conseils la crise elle n’est pas devant nous mais au moins à coïté de nous d’autant que le premier décan m’a dit
« Que tu m’aimais encore est-ce possible alors »
Les trois = Bourrez le bélier, la crise elle est …au secours, la crise elle est en nous
Jean Paul = Brandissant mon mandat de président je tente de rétablir la situation, je prends l’affaire en mains avec mon litron et ma baguette sous le bras
Les trois chantant = (air du loup du renard de la belette) j’ai mon litron, mon béret, ma baguette, j’ai mon litron et ma baguette chantait (bis)
Jean Paul = j’ai consulté le deuxième Décan qui me déclare tout de go « tout ce que vous vous étiez interdit vole en éclats et tout vous est permis » Sauf que pour résoudre la crise restignienne mieux vaut garder ses points …de vue ça c’est permis par la résolution CH3-CH2-OH à 12°5 du conseil de l’Europe et du Joyeuxluronland réunis.
Les trois = Elle est pas belle la vie sur joyeuxluronssaules.free.fr.
Daniel = et les gars ! je ne voudrais pas faire le mec qui la ramène tout le temps mais je crois qu’il était question de 3 frères Décan aussi où est passé le troisième ?
….
Attention attention alerte enlèvement le 3ème Décan a disparu mystérieusement pendant la conférence du G vins à l’ombre de la cave
Nos 3 trois intrépides sont partis ventre à terre à sa recherche.
Bon c’est vrai que dans cette position je dois dire la vérité aux sulpiciens et aux sulpiciennes, Christian avait du mal à avancer à ventre rond plutôt qu’à plat ventre et de profil on aurait dit un cheval à bascule c’est vrai mais avec la crinière en moins mais il avait du mord …ant le bougre !
Daniel quant à lui, c'est-à-dire moi, je scannais toutes les traces ADN « Amour Dame Nana » qui jalonnent la vie au combien de nos sixties
Puis le président a lancé le cri de ralliement des forces spéciales d’intervention …Bou…. mais je lui laisse le soin de vous en faire la primeur
Jean Paul = Bourrez le bélier bourrez le bélier bourrez le bélier
Daniel = avec une telle énergie décuplée à raison de 3 fois 60 jules, il n’a pas été difficile à nos trois experts-y-mentés qui après avoir jurer et cracher par terre, ont fini par retrouver le troisième Décan qui était aligoté en bourgogne.
Il nous a accueilli avec « ses mots à lui car c’est le sens du devoir qui prime »
Ces toutes premières paroles ont été pour la postérité
Les trois = « Bourrez le bélier » Elle est pas belle la vie
Jean Paul = en fin de compte … Chantal plus besoin de calculette … pour fêter les papys sixties mieux vaut être à 3 ce qui donne cent plus quatre vins qui ajoutés au G vins nous donne la coquette barrique de 200 arrondie à « jamais 2 sans 3 »
Daniel = News de dernière minute, « Si à 60 ans t’es pas joyeux luron c’est que tu as raté ta vie » alors
Les trois = Un pour Tous -Tous pour trinquer à la santé des 60 ans de Christian – Daniel et Jean Paul. Elle est pas belle la vie.
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